...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
