Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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