The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
