Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
