I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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