It's like God shit irony all over that family
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
