Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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