Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
