Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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