tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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