Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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