your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
