I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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