walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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