answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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