You're so nebulous sometimes
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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