do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
