sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
