Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
