piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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