my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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