remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
