I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
