I'm jealous of your bromance
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I love you. Go after that dick
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
