Umm I'm too high to move.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize