the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i out mim tonsoeep
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