First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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