My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize