You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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