i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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