Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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