i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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