It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
