Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How's work?
Spinning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
how does that bad decision feel?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
