we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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