Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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