I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize