Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
