A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
