I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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