Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
