It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
