i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
