My friends, they love my intelligence
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
