Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
