If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
People in love make me want to vomit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
