did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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