We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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