Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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