spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize