Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize