Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You may now shotgun with the bride
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
