Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
