Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
