Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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