): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
